Thursday, May 20, 2010

Seniors Moments

This article is for the more mature WOW players out there. I have noticed in the last few months that I have been experiencing more frequent “Senior Moments” both in and out of game. By far, the out of game ones are more humorous. Those are the ones I am going to let you in on.

Fall 2009

The company that I work for operates a medical surveillance program for its employees due to the plethora of chemicals that we deal with on a daily bases. As I sit on the side of the gurney, he is asking me questions, giving prognoses and telling me the usual - You are fat. (I am 6’1” and have been 250 lbs for ages. I did drop 36 lbs one year for a hernia operation but gained it back.) Every year he tells me to loose 50 lbs and no matter how much I control the food intake, I remain 250 lbs. This year he asked me to loose 25lbs, "meet me half way", he says.

Near the end of the appointment he asks me the question, "Is there anything else you want to talk about?" I thought about it and there was. My wife and I have been noticing that I am becoming more and more forgetful. Walking into rooms and forgetting why I entered, forgetting to pick up my daughter at band etc. Things like that. Not sure why my daughter was mad at me, I was only a 1/2 hour late. So I mention to my doctor that I was concerned that I was getting Alzheimer's.

My doctor replies that there are a number of tests that are used to diagnose the disease and he would try a few on me. Three to be exact. He does the tests and then asks about my job and the amount of stress I am under. He concludes that I do not have Alzheimer's, it is stress related and I suck at math. I leave his office. In the car I call my wife. "How was your appointment.", she says."Good", I say, "no Alzheimer's he did three tests on me. The first was to subtract 7 from 100. 93. Then subtract 7 again, and again, and again.I got to 63 when I stopped the doctor to say that you can't get to 63 by continually subtracting 7 from the result of 100 - 7." He congratulates my by saying, "You don't have Alzheimer's, a person with Alzheimer's would never know they couldn't get to 63 that way, you just SUCK at math."

My wife asks, "What were the other 2 tests?" "Can't remember", I replied. I swear, for the life of me I could not remember and I did the tests not more than 15 minutes earlier.

Earlier this Week

I was sitting at my desk and had to go to the bathroom. Walked into the bathroom, lifted the lid and the seat, pulled down my fly and thrust my hand into the opening in my pants and began to flail my hand around looking for lil'Alt. I couldn't find him. I started to panic. My eyes were looking at the water in the toilet bowl. My bladder must have been paying attention and decided, "here we go". I began to panic. "WHERE THE HELL IS IT." "WHEW" I got him out just in time. I finished up, washed my hands and stuff and went back to my desk. I sat there for a while. Thinking. How does one size themselves for Depends (for those in different areas of the planet - that is a tradename for adult diapers)?

Am I really that close? I am 46. It is a pretty slippery slope once you hit 40.

So a couple of RL seniors moments. But what about WOW?


It was a fishing quest in Dalaran, I went up to Marcia and got the daily fishing quest. Sweet, "Jewel of the Sewers", this will be a quick 200 gold (that is if all my alts do the daily). I get into the sewers and CTRL+C (switching to my fishing outfit). I look, where is my jeweled fishing pole? I begin to freak out, "did I sell it?", "WTF?". I realize after about 20 minutes of panic that this toon doesn't have the pole, an alt on a different realm has the pole. A wave of relief washes over my body. A slippery slope I say.

Well I can't remember what else I wanted to say. Time to Farmville.

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