Saturday, July 9, 2011

Really? That was Bruschetta... /FACEPALM

OK here we are Saturday morning, coffee on my handy dandy electric cup warmer, sitting at the computer about to blog the weeks events. The problem is, I can really only remember back as far as Thursday.

So the blog will be condensed from Thursday on. I really should write some of this stuff down during the week. Our company doctor says I don't have Alzheimer's, just age and work stress that is causing me to forget stuff. Enough said about that.

In Thursday's Jiu-Jitsu class we continued the module on knife fighting. Very interesting stuff so far. We had a few more new students join. On Friday I had my first chiropractic appointment since coming out of retirement. It was easier to tell the doctor what wasn't hurting than to go through the list of what was. The chiropractor asks me, " What is the issue getting back into it?" So far I would have to say, "my cardio". Have to work on my cardio. For that I have been trying to do the video work out on our Kanect. It's pretty good except the damn chick that helps me with my cool down. I do the Zen warm down and she keeps telling me I am not doing the technique right. "Like HELL", I scream at the TV. I have been doing this stuff for 33 years.

My daughter had her music leasson Friday evening. She is taking guitar lessons from an outstanding teacher. I gave her a bit of a challenge last night and I think it is paying off. She is practicing as we speak. Anyway, her music teacher plays in a two man band called "Off the Cuff" and if you are in the Niagara Area and you hear of them, catch their show. That is what we did later in the evening yesterday. Most enjoyable.

This leads me into the rant of the week. They were playing at a local bar called, "The Jordan House". Yes I said it, they have to hear it and give their "chef" (I definitely am using that term lightly) a slap. I ordered Bruschetta and it had to be the worst I have had in my entire life. I could probably get better at a restaurant that specializes in Indian Cuisine.

The toppings were not discernable from the meat used at Taco Bell. Did they throw everything into a blender with a gallon of balsamic vinegar, caulking gun it onto a slice of bread and throw it into the oven for 10 minutes? It was truly horrible.

So Jordon House "chef", here is how you make Bruschetta.

Red Onion
Garlic Cloves
Basil - fresh
Sea Salt
Olive Oil (good quality - not vegetable oil)
Feta (this was the cheese you mentioned in your menu)

Bread (good French or Italian loaf - not the Wonder bread, or hot dog bun you used)

Take a metal bowl and...

dice tomatos
chop onion
smash garlic cloves then chop
chop some of the fresh basil (rough it up so the tasty goodness is seeping out)
sea salt - ground
pepercorn - ground

feta - you can add it now but I would wait

Mix the ingredients in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil to coat

Don't go making up 15 pounds of this - make it fresh, your customers will appreciate it.

Slice the bread into elongated discs (for example if you are using a French stick) - TOAST

Spoon the bruschetta onto the toasted bread disc. Sprinkle with the feta (I would do it here) and garnish each slice with a sprig of Basil.

NEVER PUT THE BRUSCHETTA IN THE OVEN WHEN TOASTING THE BREAD. ANYONE WHO DOES THAT TO "MELT THE CHEESE" ARE HEATHENS (and not in the religious sense - please no nasty emails. I could have placed the word "Idiot" there but didn't want to insult the idiots)

That's it. Everyone - try the recipe, then go to the Jordan House and try theirs. I will be waiting on the Kudos I know will be flooding in.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Canada D'eh

Happy Canada Day, I will throw in a Happy Independence Day as well since that is around the corner and our friends to the south are gearing up for that on Monday.

I found myself pondering a couple of bizarre topics during my Canada Day festivities yesterday: household chores, what did my wife slip into my drink to make me feel like this, municipal government and this morning it was Cialis.

Household Chores

I had an urge yesterday to clean out the closet from hell. It is the walk in just outside my home office. Only took a couple of hours but I managed to organize and remove a pile of stuff for the garbage man (of course I had this urge after the garbage man already passed by), as well as, the household hazardous waste people. It is amazing how much e-waste you accumulate. This closet must have been where electronics go to die. The question is, Why? Why on a perfectly good holiday would I decide to clean out a closet? Maybe I will apply for a government grant for that study.

The Drink

We went to the bar for dinner yesterday. When I got home around 6:00pm I had to lay down. I swear the wife slipped me a roofie, I woke up and couldn't remember a damn thing from the previous 2 hours. Wait that is old age.

Municipal Government

We decided to take it easy last night. We were not going to go down to any of the usual places to get jostled around, pick pocketed, play count the "tramp stamp", watch fireworks then sit in traffic for 2 hours to try and move 5Km to get home. Instead, my wife and I sat in our backyard and had a campfire and ate s'mores.

You may be thinking.. OK not sure what you would be thinking, but theoretically in St. Catharines where I live, having a backyard campfire is against one of the many stupid by-laws we have to live with. I understand that there may be a need to regulate stupidity, but if you can demonstrate your due diligence I think you should be exempt from the by-law.

For example, in St. Catharines if you go to the park for a picnic and have a BBQ, it has to be a charcoal version. You could potentially get a fine if you show up with a small 1L propane bottle version. So for those of you that have your propane training (for forklifts etc) the training means nothing. However; a hillbilly can fill up a hibachi with charcoal and a gallon of gasoline and light a match and that is perfectly OK. Then when done, throw the hot coals into the woods next to where they were picnicking. Brilliant.

So we chose a night when most of the idiots would come out to play. I figured if a fireman or by-law officer showed up, I would cover him with due diligence and if he still issued the ticket I would fight it in court. Perfect opportunity to shed some light on how stupid municipal government is.

The year before this is how I prepared:

  • Purchased a fire pit (with mesh cover)
  • Created an 8'x8' patio stone pad
  • Created this pad 50' from all permanent structures (i.e. neighbours houses, my house)
  • Obtained a 20lb fire extinguisher
  • Trained family on use of said fire extinguisher (documented)
  • Wrote a policy and procedure for the use of the fire pit
  • Trained family on said policy and procedure (documented)
On the night of the event we:
  • Designated a DFPC and a SO (Designated Fire Pit Coordinator, S'mores Officer respectively)
  • Banned alcohol like most provincial parks and conservation areas on statutory holidays
We also made observations, like the house 2 doors to the east of us. That clown set off their fireworks on their deck 5 feet from the house. Was funny when they got a rocket embedded in the soffit of their house and all you could hear was them running around trying to get the garden hose.

The next observation came from the local newspaper, yeah the one that prints articles that occurred about 5 days earlier. In this edition, there was an article that Welland had removed the By-Law for back yard campfires. Welland, holy crap, have you seen the crowd that lives in Welland, I am surprised that the city didn't invoke a match ban instead.

Any way, no By-Law officers showed up last night. We are thinking of having a campfire tonight as well (we are rebels), weather permitting of course. The wind has to be less than 4km/hr or we pull the plug. That is what it says in the procedure.


This morning I arose still suffering from the after affects of the roofie my wife put in my drink last night. I noticed my parents (they live next door - and no not the fireworks idiots) gardening in our back yard. They do that all the time. Well, they have bags of mulch everywhere, rakes etc. I go to the bathroom and head to the kitchen for a coffee. I look out the kitchen window and "Bam", no one is there. The bags of mulch are laying there, the rakes are laying there, my mom's gardening gloves are laying there. I am thinking maybe my parents decided to have a Cialis moment. I thank god that it was my moms gloves laying in the yard and not her panties. Do mom's wear panties or is it a different term (hip huggers maybe)?

Did you look at the link for Cialis - the active ingredient is called "Tadalafil".

Lets break it down - The guy takes one "Tada", she "laf's" and you feel "il".

Pharmacists have a great sense of humor.


Patch 4.2 is out. I think the beginning quest line is incredibly sappy. Thrall needs some Cialis and take Aggra into the back room of an Orgrimmar pub. Thank God you can skip the cinematics. Eleven 85's down four to go in the pre-Firelands quest chain. When I am done these quests if I hear Aggra whine about Thrall's feelings one more time I may snap.

Any way - have a great weekend. I hope all of you play safe.