Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The New Path

Last week I found out that my beautiful wife was leaving me. Although it is hard to handle at this time, I understand her reasons and her dedication to herself. She has to be happy. Sure there were some happy times but if the sum of the happy isn't a positive number, it is time to soul search and start down a new path. A new path which I hope provides her the happiness she is looking for.

We had 19 years together and though this is hard for me, I know it was equally as hard for her to make the decision. I am proud of her and support it. I will, to the best of my abilities assist in her new journey.

As for me, I am now thrust onto a new path as well. And no matter how scary it is for me, I am sure she will try and help me too. Time will tell if our paths will cross again, but in the meantime I can be happy that we were able to bring into this world our wonderful daughter.

For those that know me, I don't usually deal with grief very well (I am the guy that tries to put the "FUN" back into funeral). So that being said, I will be blogging my new path (amongst other things) as a sort of therapy. I am sure it will help.

Now anything I add to this blog is in no way a bash against my wife (err-separated wife), but a humorous look at the situation through my eyes at the particular time the incident occurred.

There were many things going on in my head over the last 6 days: anger, grief, twisted humor etc. To be honest the last 6 days have been somewhat surreal. To start this off, I was told of the separation on March 20th, and that my significant other was actually moving out April 1st (you know how the renting scene is). So kind of awkward. We can't seem to do anything normal - like the guy gets home from work and the house is empty. No, we are doing our separation in SLOW MOTION!

So on March 23rd, her mom comes over and they start to tag items that she will be leaving with on April 1st. They are crazy organized to the point of head shaking. We actually talked about what is staying and going and there was never any yelling. So I was OK with everything. Then it happened. On the Sunday I texted her that I was going to make dinner. We decided on the menu and I went to the market to get it. I arrived home and started the preparation.

Now this is where it gets silly. For 19 years, whenever she did any cooking she never, ever, measured anything. It was all eyeballing it. Me on the other hand always measured things. So much to my chagrin, I open the kitchen drawer to see that the measuring spoons are gone. Packed for shipment to her apartment.

I chuckled, and made due with a tablespoon (argh no measurement markings). When I asked her about it, it turns out her dad bought her the measuring spoons so she felt she should take them. I now understand the connection but at the time it was amusing.

On another note, I went to the doctors on Monday and he gave me a sleep aid prescription (only 2 hours sleep in 5 days) and some suggested reading - The Four Agreements - by Don Miguel Ruiz. I am almost finished it (almost got through it in a couple hours and with no pictures) and it provides me a way to deal with this and to provide me with a base to move on.

The four agreements:
  • Be impeccable in your word
  • Don't take anything personally
  • Don't make assumptions
  • Always do your best
You will have to get the book to see how they work. Hunny - I hope you ask for the book from me. I am sure it will help you on your journey as well.  

That's it for tonight, I am actually able to sleep again without my head swimming in chaos. As life unfolds for me in the next weeks and months, I will share what I can. Remember, this was a good decision. Support us both as best as you can.

No comments:

Post a Comment