The Mid-Life

Yes, I know I am always apologizing. I guess it would be difficult for me to be a writer. Or least it would be difficult for me to be a writer that has to have a weekly column in order to get a paycheque. I am a bit inconsistent. Then again writing could be my full-time job. I would be a bit thinner and, "oh yeah", I would have that writers block and it would be over.

So the day job it is and the inconsistency that comes with it.

I am in Chicago this weekend, I will get to that story later, but first I have to get you caught up on the last couple months. I might have about 3 posts this weekend (intoxication permitting). If writing was feast or famine - this would be a feasting month.

I had permission to have my mid-life crisis in July. Yeah I bought the Jeep pictured above.  35" tires - like gliding along on 4 water balloons. It's a lot of fun. How did it come to pass? Well, I'll tell you. Several years ago I mentioned to my wife that for my 50th birthday I wanted to get a Jeep. I always wanted one and I wanted to make it happen as a birthday present to myself. It was agreed.

However; in July (the 2nd) to be exact, I received a phone call at about 3:30am.

Alt37's bedroom, wife blissfully snoring away

Ring, ring, RRRIIIIINNNNNGGG

Alt37: Hello (groggy)

Unidentified person: Dad (person now identified - to be referred to from now on as "The Plug")

Alt37: What's up (still very groggy)

The Plug: You know on the highway, the turn, the Aveo, the...

Alt37: (still groggy but starting to get near the edge of the fog) Not quite sure what you are talking about. (cut off by The Plug)

The Plug: I GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT!

Alt37: Are you ok? Was anyone with you?  blah, blah, blah

The Plug: I am fine, no one was hurt.

Alt 37: We will talk in the morning.

The Plug: Can you come and get us.

Alt37: No (disconnect phone)

I actually totally enjoyed my film class that I took earlier this year. Writing a story as a screenplay is fun. I really should film that donut shop short.

Anyway back to the story. My son found his way home and sat on the floor in the dining room awaiting his scolding and subsequent beating. I ended up coming out there to take care of the cats and almost tripped over him (I didn't expect a kid to be sitting in the middle of the floor - yes I was pretty much walking around with my eyes closed).

I told him to go to bed and I would give him shit later.

Enough of that - a day or so later I got word that my car was a write off. I looked at my wife and she told me that I could start my mid-life crisis about a year and a half early.

I got my Jeep - however; every Sunday I have to take her for a drive in it with the top off. I guess it is a small price to pay.

The Plug - well  he has no car to drive. Charges pending. Life's lessons learned. He will be OK.

WOW Stuff

Taking time off from the game. I was in the Mists of Panderia beta and it drove me nuts. I realized that I was leveling characters that would disappear when the game came out. I thought, "what a waste of time". Yes that was a Sheldon Cooper oxymoron moment. Watch the Big Bang Theory - WOW account getting hacked episode - you will understand.

Instead I have been playing World of Tanks. My son recommended it and it is absolutely awesome. Free to play. I am sure I will get the new WOW expansion in September, but for now this is a lot of fun.

Conclusion

I think I am done this installment. I have one more before I begin the current - Chicago Trip installment.

Have a great day!

Mmm - Frozen Concoction Maker

So you were wondering where I was for the last month or so. Well my buddy from Chicago sent me the "Maragaritaville - Frozen Concoction Maker" and I guess the rest is history.

We re-outfitted the backyard and it is pretty close to being a piece of paradise, with no annoying sand in the shorts, and all I need is the straw hat.

So, spending a lot of time slurring my words and sitting in the backyard.

WOW and other assorted video games

Haven't played regular WOW in ages. I was on the Beta for a bit and after that last patch it won't let me log in anymore. So to hell with them - I stopped playing that. Been playing Diable III a little bit (since it was free) but even then I haven't been on the computer much.

The Bear

Well as a family, we completed a full year without our beloved dog - Bear. I miss him so much, I took some time today to wash his statue we put in the garden. We talked about getting a new puppy and I think we will be getting one in July. We agreed that he won't be a Golden because it would be a little too hard on the family. So in about a month I will be introducing to you - our new German Shepard puppy. We already have a name for him (my daughter came up with it) - his name will be "Toast".

Have to go, my glass is empty - it's Mojito day.

Cheers

/facepalm - The Screenplay

It's like a broken record. I write something then a couple of months go by and I write some more. I usually say that I am busy. Well in addition to the number of hats I wear at my day job, I also took the time to participate in a 7 week film course. I learned a bit about all aspects of the film industry - camera work, lighting, editing, screenplay writing and all the rest of the jobs. Our instructor is planning to offer a 2 year college course for people wanting to get involved in the industry.

That being said I was out doing my infamous health & safety audits at our local school board, when I happened to stop at a local donut establishment. What ensued inspired me to write a 5 minute film short. If you like it and want to produce it let me know. Spielberg - I am looking at you.

/facepalm

Screenplay by
Alt37

 

Current Revision
March 8, 2012

FADE IN

EXT. PORT COLBORNE – DAY

Opening Credits

“Pinball Wizard” music plays.

Views of a silver Aveo are seen driving around.

INT. AVEO – DAY

Driver singing along with “Pinball Wizard”

View from vehicle as if first person (see hands on steering wheel).

Looking out to right at Tim Horton’s

Music continues from radio (classic rock).

Turning into the Tim Horton’s

EXT. TIM HORTON’S PARKING LOT – DAY

Walking towards entrance

Reaching for door

INT. TIM HORTON’S – DAY

Standing in line, six patrons ahead

EMPLOYEE #1
(loud voice)

                                Next!  I can help the next person!

First person in queue nods and indicates to the second person that they can go ahead.

EMPLOYEE #2
(loud voice)

                                Next!

First person moves forward, satisfied he will be served by his favorite Tim Horton’s staff member.

Camera view pans around restaurant, scanning the patrons.

Camera is jolted back to the left of the store as patron screams excitedly.

EXCITED PATRON
(squeals with happiness)

                                I won! ...              I won! ...

Excited Patron stands up, clutching a Tim Horton’s cup.

Excited Patron moves around the store hugging other patrons. Times stretches.

INT. TIM HORTON’S – DAY

Excited Patron moves to counter, pushing First person out of the way.

EXCITED PATRON
(almost hyperventilating)

                                I won! ... I want my prize! ... I won!

Excited Patron thrusts cup towards Employee #2.

EMPLOYEE #2
(trying to calm things down)

                                You need to tear the rim...

Excited Patron continues pressing the cup forwards.

EMPLOYEE #2 (CONT’D)

I can’t accept the cup; you must tear the winning rim off.

Excited Patron tears the winning section of the rim, presenting it to Employee #2.

EXCITED PATRON
(on verge of heart attack)

                                I won! ... I want my prize!

INT. TIM HORTON’S - DAY

Excitement grows amongst the Queued Patrons (did she win the car?).

Employee #2 takes the torn rim and reads the words on the rim.

EMPLOYEE #2

Your prize- what would you like?

EXCITED PATRON
(muffled by the buzz of the crowd)

EMPLOYEE #2
(even more questioning)

What would you like?

Queued Patrons are becoming confused, First person beginning to look annoyed

EXCITED PATRON
(very loud)

                                An oatmeal raisin cookie!

An audible groan can be heard from the Queued and sitting Patrons, many bringing a palm to their foreheads.

Excited Patron accepts her cookie and retreats back to her table.

The queue begins to move again.

CREDITS ROLL

FADE TO BLACK

Happy Easter

Sound Bite

Ok, so I didn't manage to get myself writing another article last weekend. Just very tired after doing three weeks of high school health & safety inspections. I wanted to rest over the weekend and clear my head or it would just turn into a rant session.

I do have one sound bite to share to sum up what I went through. This is from a teacher at one of the schools, "I don't have time to be safe. I haven't been trained to be safe. If they want me to be safe they will have to provide me with more prep time."

Outstanding. If Ronald Reagan were alive I think we need him to come up here and take care of these teachers. Fire the lot of them and hire new ones. Out of the 45 or so teachers I met during that time only 5 or so were in it because they loved it and it showed.

So, last Monday was the start of a new week. My alarm goes off, I am tired, I have a shower and get dressed and go to work. Report writing, playing a bit of catch up etc. Half dozen coffees and a trip to the bathroom. Standing there, fly down, rummaging around looking for the little guy. Then it dawns on me. I have my underwear on backwards. No opening to be found. Panic sets in, must (pause ) drop (pause - work it like Shatner) pants. Made it.

Now you know you're tired, when you mess up getting dressed in the morning.


WOW Stuff

During the three weeks I was away I didn't have much time to play. Leaving at about 6:00am and returning on some days at 10:00pm. I noticed that when I did play it was to do more relaxing stuff. I managed to get all my toons through the Darkmoon Faire stuff. Happily, I have another week to do the "Love is in the Air" stuff.

My pet peeve about that holiday boss is the drop rate on the good stuff. I think it is non-existant. If anyone has received the "Love Rocket" from the holiday boss let me know.

Have a good one.

Yes - I know

I know, where have I been all month. I have been busy, from spending the last 3 weeks doing a health and safety audit for a school board to finishing up the martial arts program I have been working on for the City of London's Parks and Recreation Department. I am absolutely beat.

So this really isn't going to be my blog. It is really more of a notification that I am still alive. I hope to write a new article this weekend and get back to a more reproducible schedule.

Going to bed now. G'Night

Karma

Two days till Christmas and I am sitting at the dining room table wondering how I am going to pull it off. I even stared out the window for a bit to see if I could see the brunette in the red bathing suit jumping into my imaginary pool. Nope just dreary wet weather - green this year for sure.

During my pondering I noticed something interesting. We have two cats. We got them to keep our dog company when he was in his twilight years. Also, if we went out and forgot to feed him he could eat one of them. The interesting bit though is that when they sleep, one curls counter clockwise and the other if he wasn't too pudgy and could actually curl, curls clockwise. Like a furry Ying Yang, and not where you were going with it.

This brings me to the karma bit. I believe in karma but does it always have to come around at Christmas? Like really? In the last couple months the Kingdom of Alt37 seemed to be turning it around. The bank called a couple of months ago to tell me that one of our mortgages was paid off, a letter from Dell notifying us that our computer was paid off and on the horizon a payday for the martial arts program I am writing for the parks and recreation department of an Ontario city.

Things are looking up. Then in the last few weeks - the Queen of our kingdom's car needed repairs, our royal ice box needed repair and the people that we agreed were not getting presents this year suddenly made it into the good books. On top of that, the bank calls back and informs me that the mortgage that we paid off was the mortgage that had the property taxes built in.

So I had to contact the city to get set up for automatic withdrawal (I figured I would just continue to put the "mortgage" money in the account). Makes sense right? Wouldn't miss it. Well, the confirmation letter back from the city had a monthy payment greater than the mortgage payment that I just finished paying off. How does that work?

Paid "X" on the mortgage which was to cover Principle, Interest and City Taxes. We'll say $180.

Now on automatic withdrawal property taxes are "Y". We'll say $242.

Scratches Head

When the accounting is done, this month still comes out in the red, /facepalm. I guess I will have to raid the peasants piggy banks. I am allowed, I am the King.

One day - Karma will swing my way.

Merry "Insert politically correct statement for whichever festive occasion you participate in"

Sunday Morning

It has been a blur since my last posting. I am trying to decide if the old saying, "Times goes fast when your having fun." applies in this situation. There has already been Christmas lights up for the last couple weeks. Why are people trying to rush these things?

For those who know me I changed my status last night to read - "Bake at 400C for 25 minutes or until desired colour is achieved". Well that was off - it should be 400F. If the temperature was 400C then the desired colour I guess would be "black". I just thought it interesting. When one eats pork one hopes that the internal temperature of the meat reaches the "salmonella is dead" temperature rather than a pleasing exterior colour.

For those that read this blog for humorous anecdotes, I have none today. I think it is more due to my "oldtimers", rather than there being nothing funny happening in my life. I guess I just need to carry a pen and paper around to document them. Those of you that follow this blog for a glimmer into my exploits in WOW, your in luck. This posting is going to be for you.

Patch 4.3

IT SUCKS

I am not going to delve into the specifics of different class mechanics, I am going to stick with the big picture stuff.

• Void Bank
• Transmorgification
• Darkmoon Faire
• Raid Finder

I am going to lead off with the good, then go to the bad, then the ugly.

Transmorgification

Haven't tried it. So no comment.

Darkmoon Faire

The games were fun however; the one game where you have to shoot the targets. Why do the Tauren players have to stand pretty much on the counter. Be courteous. You can barely see what is going on. Blizzard should have made that booth bigger and had an invisible wall so you can't get too close. Other than that - this is a good.

Void Bank

This is bad - Open it up and it costs 100G to open the account, then it is 25G per item I think to deposit (Wasn't able to actually deposit anything so not sure if there was a discount for multiple deposits). I guess Blizzard wants to match the service charges of the Bank of America, or the Royal Bank of Canada depending on your locale of residency. How about no service charges and they call it the "Void Credit Union".

Oh, so about the depositing. I went to my player's bank when I logged in all a giddy with anticipation of clearing out a pile of stuff that I wanted to keep but was taking up a ton of space. I brought it all to the Void Bank and paid my 100G. Only to be told that I can't deposit anything that is "Unique". Well that is about everything in my bank. Six years of celebratory steins, and other assorted world event trash. I could deposit nothing. So other than tier gear which I don't collect what use it this?

Raid Finder

This gets the designation of ugly. Again I was all excited to log in and queue up for a Lich King. I never did get my Kingslayer. Completed up to the second last boss several times then the raid fell apart. I figured awesome, finally going to get it. What do I see? Only 2 raids available and you need something like an ilvl 370 to get in. Blizzard, if I had an ilvl of 370 don't you think I would be raiding that content with my guild. UGH!

I thought that all the raids would be represented. Eg. If I was a level 70 or higher with a minimum ilvl x, I would be able to queue for Karazhan, or Black Temple etc.

Two raids, what a waste of energy on their part. The only way of pulling this out of ugly is some plastic surgery. I hope in the next few months they open it to all raids.

That's it, going to the faire.