Going Home

Well our daughter is home. She had been away at a 2 week General Training Camp at CFB Trenton as part of her Royal Canadian Air Cadet training. Friday evening the family converged on Trenton to watch her graduation parade. I drove up with the boy and my wife drove down from her parents (she was there visiting). We positioned ourselves around the parade square to watch the festivities. We saw many cadets "gingerly" walking around - obviously due to an abundance of blisters from two weeks of "drill" training.

During the march past we caught a glimpse of our daughter (there was over 500 cadets graduating), she looked great (in comparison to some of the other cadets from her squadron). She was tanned and looking fit but obviously a little tired.

The graduation went well, however; darkness soon fell and it was hard to see the ceremonial honor guard demonstration. But the muzzle flashes were awesome. They did their routine to music provided by the RCAC summer band. Excellent job by both groups. The graduation ended about 9:30pm, I said goodbye to my wife and boy. They were driving back home (about 3.5 hours - ETA about 1:00am) because my wife had to work in the morning.

Off to my room, my x-wife's husband was an officer in charge of the senior camps, he got me a room at the on base accomodations called the Yukon Lodge. Yes it's bizarre, but if even a small percentage of family break ups ended like mine did, there wouldn't be as much issue with society these days especially around child issues.

Any way, the plan was to pick up my daughter in the morning. give her the evening to say, "good bye" to new friends, party it up. Within an hour or so of getting back to my room I got a call from my daughter, she was crying, "come get me, I don't want to stay." My first thought was "post traumatic stress syndrome" - PSD. She was only away for 2 weeks! I got dressed and headed down to the camp area. When she saw me she actually ran over and initiated a hug. I am usually the one doing that, especially when I drop her off at school. She explains, "all my friends are leaving tonight, I am the only person that is going to be in my barracks." So off we go, to fill out some papers, have her confiscated items returned (aerosol bug repellant - all of the kids had one thing or another confiscated).

She is free, we walk back to my car and head the 2Km back to my room. She was in heaven, a car ride, it was the 2Km ride she would march 6 times a day back and forth to the mess hall. In the room she grabbed my iphone and updated her Facebook page with 8 pages of new friends (that was 8 school notebook pages of new friends). She had a hot shower without wearing flip flops for fear of athletes foot and she slept in a bed and not a bunk. Maybe if all of the kids that are out there, seamingly content in their entitlement (my daughter has no illusion that she is entitled to anything but it was nice to see the joy she received from just some of the basic services we take for granted) spent 2 weeks at Cadet Camp, the world would be a better place.

OMG - next morning - up at 6:40am, I told her we could sleep in. Nope - she didn't want to miss breakfast. We marched our 80 yards to the mess hall. Ate and then bussed our trays. I was going to put it in the rack about half way up. "No", she said. "Start at the bottom." As we left she saw the halo of light eminating from the mess hall restrooms. I read the sign, "No cadets on summer training permitted to enter." She states, "I am using this restroom, I am no longer on summer training." Ah, my girl - marking her territory.

The trip home - used my iphone to simultaneously have 15 text message comversations, sleeping most of the time while drooling on my phone (she had it on her shoulder since I forgot my headphones) while listening to "HER" music on either my iPhone or the car radio.

Glad she is back. When does school start again?

As an aside, she was very eager to show me her camp report card and to show me the certificate she received stating that her and the rest of her barracks won the - "Most Orderly Barracks" award.

Arrr! I am now a pirate.

For those of you following my tweets and Facebook status updates the last couple weeks, you may have been confused by a number of my entries referring to pirates. Well you see, since Bear died 2 months ago, I have been very much missing him. I have been looking for just the right tribute to his life. My wife and I have been searching for just the right headstone for our back yard when we inturn him later this month. So I decided to get his portrait tattooed on my left thigh. My theory is that "man's best friend" always sits to your left. So Bear will now, always be at my side.

The reference to pirates extends from my theory that only pirates and sailors should be allowed to have tattoos. As for women, our indigenous people of northern Canada tattoo their chins. So obviously a female getting tattooed secretly wants to be an eskimo, or sailor or pirate. But we know the later isn't a good idea because of the superstition of having a female on a boat. Usually a Kraken comes and swallows it up. At least that is what Disney taught me.

So for the last few weeks I have been studying up for my pirates exam and at the end I got my pirates license a beautiful piece done by Bob Paulin, owner of Studio123 in St. Catharines, ON. I celebrated with Mr. Christie Pirate cookies and rum.

For those of you that said I would cry - it tickled except around the knee when Bob was working over where my common peroneal nerve is available for striking. Those of you that take a real martial art (not MMA) should know were that is. Did I strike a "nerve" with that comment.

WOW Stuff

Speaking of Eskimo women, one of our guildies was lamenting a few months ago that he wanted to make a guild of just paladins. Now I am sure this isn't something new, a group of 12 year olds probably already beat us to the punch. We laughed it off in Mumble (really try this it is good), but the other night we were bored (the guildie that suggested it was on vacation and wasn't there) and decided we were going to start toons on a new realm, from scratch and form a new guild of just Dwarf Paladins. The realm we chose was Shu'Halo (NA) and the guild we created is called, "Seal Cub Clubbers Club". In case you haven't figured out the connection from Eskimo women to WOW it is - Seal Cubs.

Now we are having fun running around as just dwarf paladins, but I am sure we will have to have a talk about other classes as well if we decide to run any of the big boy content when we get to that stage. However; I think we will limit the races to dwarves (so whichever classes are associated with dwarves), from there we may have to extend it to other vertically challenged races (gnomes).

I have never played a dwarf - so I am seeing their content for the first time. You can actually see more of the content. Following behind a Tauren is a bitch - even totally panned out.

Anyway, off to help my daughter pack for her 2 week basic training course in Trenton (she is in Air Cadets). Before she goes, I think we will practise a bit of our baton stuff. Just in case she needs to throw a beating into an unruly male cadet while she is away.

ARRR!

WOW - and not the MMORPG

It has been a couple of weeks since I last wrote an article, and I did plan to actually write it a couple days ago, however; I had to wait the couple of extra days to allow my eyes to heal. Now before you start sending me emails to find out where you can send flowers, my eye injury is more of a figurative statement than a physical injury.

You see, I went to our local Ribfest on Saturday. Every town tries to have one of these events. They get a park, load it up with tractor trailer sized BBQ'ing units, a band shell (with questionable talent), and some of the worst dressed patrons - then tell the world how wonderful it is in City X - come on down for a great time, with probably less than 2% going to charity. Ours is hosted by a charitable organization, I would love to see the bookkeeping for this event.

The thing is, I am not writing this to complain about the whole charity event thing. I am writing this to discuss the people watching that one can do at these events.

The title of my article - "WOW - and not the MMORPG" speaks volumes towards what my eyes had to go through while at this even. All I wanted was to spend my $20 and get me a box of ribs. Little did I know I would be shelling out big bucks on cornea transplant surgery and counselling in the future.

Here is a summary of what my eyes saw:

1. The guy with the pink plastic cowboy hat. Now, if he thinks he can rock a pink hat that is fine (he couldn't). But his girlfriend in tow - what was she thinking? She should have warned him that he looked like and idiot.
   
2. Picture this. Thigh high leather boots, micro mini skirt, white tank top with ample cleavage bouncing off her knees everytime she took a step. Your eyes burning? Yeah she had to be pushing 65.
3. Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini - on the very large boned woman with no sarong. Where did her bottoms go?
4. and finally a general statement - Where was FACS? Some of these teenagers - WOW - Some of them should have their parents arrested for what they were wearing.

There was many other sights worth mentioning. However; my head was swivelling so fast I couldn't take mental notes fast enough. There was a lot of neurological overload.

That is it, just a short one. Having to relive those sights in the recesses of my mind is becoming too much.

Have a good one.

Really? That was Bruschetta... /FACEPALM

OK here we are Saturday morning, coffee on my handy dandy electric cup warmer, sitting at the computer about to blog the weeks events. The problem is, I can really only remember back as far as Thursday.

So the blog will be condensed from Thursday on. I really should write some of this stuff down during the week. Our company doctor says I don't have Alzheimer's, just age and work stress that is causing me to forget stuff. Enough said about that.

In Thursday's Jiu-Jitsu class we continued the module on knife fighting. Very interesting stuff so far. We had a few more new students join. On Friday I had my first chiropractic appointment since coming out of retirement. It was easier to tell the doctor what wasn't hurting than to go through the list of what was. The chiropractor asks me, " What is the issue getting back into it?" So far I would have to say, "my cardio". Have to work on my cardio. For that I have been trying to do the video work out on our Kanect. It's pretty good except the damn chick that helps me with my cool down. I do the Zen warm down and she keeps telling me I am not doing the technique right. "Like HELL", I scream at the TV. I have been doing this stuff for 33 years.

My daughter had her music leasson Friday evening. She is taking guitar lessons from an outstanding teacher. I gave her a bit of a challenge last night and I think it is paying off. She is practicing as we speak. Anyway, her music teacher plays in a two man band called "Off the Cuff" and if you are in the Niagara Area and you hear of them, catch their show. That is what we did later in the evening yesterday. Most enjoyable.

This leads me into the rant of the week. They were playing at a local bar called, "The Jordan House". Yes I said it, they have to hear it and give their "chef" (I definitely am using that term lightly) a slap. I ordered Bruschetta and it had to be the worst I have had in my entire life. I could probably get better at a restaurant that specializes in Indian Cuisine.

The toppings were not discernable from the meat used at Taco Bell. Did they throw everything into a blender with a gallon of balsamic vinegar, caulking gun it onto a slice of bread and throw it into the oven for 10 minutes? It was truly horrible.

So Jordon House "chef", here is how you make Bruschetta.

Tomatos
Red Onion
Garlic Cloves
Basil - fresh
Sea Salt
Peppercorn
Olive Oil (good quality - not vegetable oil)
Feta (this was the cheese you mentioned in your menu)

Bread (good French or Italian loaf - not the Wonder bread, or hot dog bun you used)

Take a metal bowl and...

dice tomatos
chop onion
smash garlic cloves then chop
chop some of the fresh basil (rough it up so the tasty goodness is seeping out)
sea salt - ground
pepercorn - ground

feta - you can add it now but I would wait

Mix the ingredients in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil to coat

MINI RANT ALERT
Don't go making up 15 pounds of this - make it fresh, your customers will appreciate it.

Slice the bread into elongated discs (for example if you are using a French stick) - TOAST

Spoon the bruschetta onto the toasted bread disc. Sprinkle with the feta (I would do it here) and garnish each slice with a sprig of Basil.

NEVER PUT THE BRUSCHETTA IN THE OVEN WHEN TOASTING THE BREAD. ANYONE WHO DOES THAT TO "MELT THE CHEESE" ARE HEATHENS (and not in the religious sense - please no nasty emails. I could have placed the word "Idiot" there but didn't want to insult the idiots)

That's it. Everyone - try the recipe, then go to the Jordan House and try theirs. I will be waiting on the Kudos I know will be flooding in.

Canada D'eh

Happy Canada Day, I will throw in a Happy Independence Day as well since that is around the corner and our friends to the south are gearing up for that on Monday.

I found myself pondering a couple of bizarre topics during my Canada Day festivities yesterday: household chores, what did my wife slip into my drink to make me feel like this, municipal government and this morning it was Cialis.

Household Chores

I had an urge yesterday to clean out the closet from hell. It is the walk in just outside my home office. Only took a couple of hours but I managed to organize and remove a pile of stuff for the garbage man (of course I had this urge after the garbage man already passed by), as well as, the household hazardous waste people. It is amazing how much e-waste you accumulate. This closet must have been where electronics go to die. The question is, Why? Why on a perfectly good holiday would I decide to clean out a closet? Maybe I will apply for a government grant for that study.

The Drink

We went to the bar for dinner yesterday. When I got home around 6:00pm I had to lay down. I swear the wife slipped me a roofie, I woke up and couldn't remember a damn thing from the previous 2 hours. Wait that is old age.

Municipal Government

We decided to take it easy last night. We were not going to go down to any of the usual places to get jostled around, pick pocketed, play count the "tramp stamp", watch fireworks then sit in traffic for 2 hours to try and move 5Km to get home. Instead, my wife and I sat in our backyard and had a campfire and ate s'mores.

You may be thinking.. OK not sure what you would be thinking, but theoretically in St. Catharines where I live, having a backyard campfire is against one of the many stupid by-laws we have to live with. I understand that there may be a need to regulate stupidity, but if you can demonstrate your due diligence I think you should be exempt from the by-law.

For example, in St. Catharines if you go to the park for a picnic and have a BBQ, it has to be a charcoal version. You could potentially get a fine if you show up with a small 1L propane bottle version. So for those of you that have your propane training (for forklifts etc) the training means nothing. However; a hillbilly can fill up a hibachi with charcoal and a gallon of gasoline and light a match and that is perfectly OK. Then when done, throw the hot coals into the woods next to where they were picnicking. Brilliant.

So we chose a night when most of the idiots would come out to play. I figured if a fireman or by-law officer showed up, I would cover him with due diligence and if he still issued the ticket I would fight it in court. Perfect opportunity to shed some light on how stupid municipal government is.

The year before this is how I prepared:

• Purchased a fire pit (with mesh cover)
• Created an 8'x8' patio stone pad
• Created this pad 50' from all permanent structures (i.e. neighbours houses, my house)
• Obtained a 20lb fire extinguisher
• Trained family on use of said fire extinguisher (documented)
• Wrote a policy and procedure for the use of the fire pit
• Trained family on said policy and procedure (documented)

On the night of the event we:

• Designated a DFPC and a SO (Designated Fire Pit Coordinator, S'mores Officer respectively)
• Banned alcohol like most provincial parks and conservation areas on statutory holidays

We also made observations, like the house 2 doors to the east of us. That clown set off their fireworks on their deck 5 feet from the house. Was funny when they got a rocket embedded in the soffit of their house and all you could hear was them running around trying to get the garden hose.

The next observation came from the local newspaper, yeah the one that prints articles that occurred about 5 days earlier. In this edition, there was an article that Welland had removed the By-Law for back yard campfires. Welland, holy crap, have you seen the crowd that lives in Welland, I am surprised that the city didn't invoke a match ban instead.

Any way, no By-Law officers showed up last night. We are thinking of having a campfire tonight as well (we are rebels), weather permitting of course. The wind has to be less than 4km/hr or we pull the plug. That is what it says in the procedure.

Cialis

This morning I arose still suffering from the after affects of the roofie my wife put in my drink last night. I noticed my parents (they live next door - and no not the fireworks idiots) gardening in our back yard. They do that all the time. Well, they have bags of mulch everywhere, rakes etc. I go to the bathroom and head to the kitchen for a coffee. I look out the kitchen window and "Bam", no one is there. The bags of mulch are laying there, the rakes are laying there, my mom's gardening gloves are laying there. I am thinking maybe my parents decided to have a Cialis moment. I thank god that it was my moms gloves laying in the yard and not her panties. Do mom's wear panties or is it a different term (hip huggers maybe)?

Did you look at the link for Cialis - the active ingredient is called "Tadalafil".

Lets break it down - The guy takes one "Tada", she "laf's" and you feel "il".

Pharmacists have a great sense of humor.

WOW

Patch 4.2 is out. I think the beginning quest line is incredibly sappy. Thrall needs some Cialis and take Aggra into the back room of an Orgrimmar pub. Thank God you can skip the cinematics. Eleven 85's down four to go in the pre-Firelands quest chain. When I am done these quests if I hear Aggra whine about Thrall's feelings one more time I may snap.

Any way - have a great weekend. I hope all of you play safe.

Aftermath

Well I'm back.

It has been a couple weeks since Bear passed and it has been tough. During this time I found that whenever I was in the backyard cutting the grass or just sitting on the patio, I was reduced to a blithering idiot in about 5 minutes. Whenever I look out at the backyard all I could see is that little Golden Retriever we brought home almost 14 years ago playing in the yard. I want to thank Ken for sending me a passage that has been very inspiring and has helped. I just think it will take a little more time.

Funny thing though, since his passing I think I have cracked my WOW addiction and our toilet works better. The WOW thing I understand, the toilet thing I can't figure out. Both are good things. I played a little over the last couple of weeks, but found myself working on other things as well.

WOW

A guildie tells me he did the math. We would have to complete all the dungeon challenges every week for 6 weeks, just to get to a level 3 guild. So for the time being playing WOW will be just for fun and relaxation. It has been fun to run various instances with guildies. You think Blizzard could program it so that guild leveling would be pro-rated based on active members. We have many toons but only 4 active members and we really don't want to open up recruiting.

Jiu-Jitsu

For those of you that follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you will no doubt have seen my status update - "Retired from Jiu-Jitsu for 6 years. Daughter started last Thursday. I unretired last night. Many ouchies." To be honest at the time I felt like a water balloon hitting the concrete a couple ties but when it was over, I felt wonderful. I am glad I am back at it.

Many years ago, I wrote a book on the martial art of jiu-jitsu, unfortunately my only electronic copy was lost when one of my hard drives failed. This renewed interest in the martial art has persauded me to retype it. This is a good thing. When I initially wrote the book I did all the illustrations. Yeah - my stick figures are bad. I now have an illustrator re-doing all the artwork for me. I am so excited.

Road Trip

As for work, I am teaching at a University this week. So in preparation, I researched some issues that have happened in research labs. Yikes - most of you have read my rants regarding high school science departments, I think some of the accidents that happened in these labs are far worse. What is wrong with these people? Do they think they are too smart for disaster to effect them? This week may be painful.

On the way here though, I witnessed a blind guy (cane and all) crossing the highway - incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Take your pick.

That's it

I think I call it on this weeks installment. I need to work my way back into it. I think I will still blog the funny, the WOW and now I think I will include some writing on the Martial Arts. Maybe next week I will rant about the term - Mixed Martial Arts. Why not call it Jiu-Jitsu?

Good Bye Bear

BEAR

June 13, 1997 - June 4, 2011

"We are all going to miss you so much."